Emotional Rescue

Friday, August 28th, 2009
ACCCCKKKK!

I did not get a chance to read my horrible-scope for today (I am a Libra/Scorpio cusp) but I am sure emotions were mentioned in there somewhere.

Today was an EMOTION-packed day!

They ran the gamut of anger, frustration, disgruntlement, failure, racial bitterness, self-pity and blame (and some for which I do not even have labels).

After a not so pleasant chemo treatment this morning (resulting in a lot of vomitorium visits and abdominal misadventures, not to mention an internal memo from my ileo-cecal valve about it's need for a vacation), I had to make a trip to Century Plaza (home of Hennepin County Human Services) or as I lovingly call it "the waiting game."

They have a "new ticket system" there designed to reduce the amount of time it takes to serve you - ya right HAHAHAHAHA.

The first joke is that none of the automated ticket machines were working and so you had to stand in this Gawd-awful line to get a ticket from a clerk. When I arrived, there were about 65 or 70 people ahead of me (oh did I mention there was only ONE clerk dispensing tickets?). I had to fill out a blue form in advance of reaching the clerk (which they do not tell you until you are actually AT the counter), so it takes a moment or two to fill out the form before you can hand it to the clerk. (if you are a fast writer and English is your primary language - another "AT HUMAN SERVICES HAHAHAHAHAHA???")

So I hand the blue form to the clerk and she asks me my Social Security number and case ID # (she never even looks at the form I filled out, by the way).

She enters my info into the computer and prints out a ticket. My number was # G583. I looked at the board and they were just now calling out ticket # A207. There is no explanation on the ticket or anywhere else as to whether the letters had any significance or if the numbers were actually called out in order or not. There are about 40 intake windows for customers there but unfortunately only 5 of them were manned today.

I went to take a seat to await my turn - and of the more than 80 seats in the waiting area, not one was vacant. So I went and leaned against a nearby wall - feeling nauseous from my chemo and with aching leg muscles from the cramps caused by one of my chemo drugs. Apparently there is no real "order" to the number system and the message board jumped all over the alphabet before finally getting to my number about an hour later.

Fortunately, the intake window where I was to be seen was within just a few steps of where I had been perched against the wall (in agony). The intake clerk was actually very pleasant - (another surprise for Century Plaza). He quickly looked over the 42 page form I had to complete (for the umpteenth time this year already) and entered the data into his computer terminal.

At the window next to me was a guy named Joaguin who (from what I could gather from his conversation with his intake clerk), had just arrived in this great country of ours a couple of weeks ago to stay with his distant relatives in South Minneapolis. From what I could ascertain, there was Joaguin, his girlfriend, their 5 kids, 3 cousins and an assortment of aunts, uncles and other cousins all staying in the same property in South Minneapolis. (I just hope they had more than one bathroom).

Somehow or another, due to the fact that Joaguin is a "New American" (a category in Minnesota which receives "special" treatment, he got rushed through the system and was eligible for not only General Assistance (read: cash benefits) in the amount of $ 203 / month and food stamps in the amount of $ 380 month, but also some sort of rental assistance payments to the relative with whom he was staying. All this would be posted on his EBT card which he was to go downstairs and receive RIGHT NOW.

At this time, my clerk informed me that - due to an error in processing caused by my SSI case worker (who had inadvertantly filled out the incorrect form back in March), my claim for benefits was not able to be processed until the correct paperwork was filled out and submitted - paperwork which I could only obtain from her (my SSI case worker). So I asked the intake clerk if they (my "Team" at Hennepin County Human Services - the building in which I was standing) could contact my SSI case worker to expedite this whole procedure - since afterall, my medical insurance was due to be terminated the end of this month - just 4 days hence). He replied that they could not and that I would have to contact her myself.

Well, being one that keeps a good address book of phone numbers, I just happened to have my SSI case worker's number handy and so I proceeded to dial it from my celery phone. My intake clerk informed me that I was not allowed to use a cell phone while at his counter, but I protested and said this would only take a minute.

Bless his patience, he said to go ahead, even knowing that I was violating "procedure".

After going through about 13 levels of voice message systems to actually get to my case worker at SSI, I get her voice mail which indicated that she was out of the office on vacation until September 4th. Her voice mail indicated that it would not be wise to leave any messages as it would take her some time to return all the calls after her 2 week absence and to contact the "central" toll free number to seek further assistance.

So I decided to push my luck with this kind intake guy at Human Services and call the toll-free number while still at his counter.

Another umpteen levels of voice prompts and I finally get a live person who informs me that since my case is an "open case", no one but my case worker can assist me and that I would just have to wait her return to the office.

I believe that it was within approximately 3.21814 seconds of hearing her relay that info that I TOTALLYLOST IT!!!!

I am not sure the exact chain of events that occurred in the next 3.29 seconds, but they included a) me screaming something about Joaguin who could "hop off the banana boat and get cash benefits, food stamps and rental assistance RIGHT NOW" and,
b) about how so friggin unprofessional and unfair the whole g-d system was set-up and
c) how my SSI case worker was so inept and should be hung up by her friggin eyebrows and
d) how dare they cancel Star Trek: Voyager after only 7 seasons (ok, mayhaps that one didn't make its way in there - I can't be sure)

All I know, I was in tears with frustration and anger and I could not get out of that building quickly enough.

I do know that I was still tearing at the ducts when I got to the bus stop. I guess my system just needed a good cleansing today.

So now you know....the rest of the story...

By the way, I am doing a bit better tonight - having purged my system (both of the anger and all food that has entered it today - thanks chemo).

So mayhaps now I can check in with my horrible-scope and see what advice it has for me for tonight.

In the words of my good friend Red Skelton..."Good night and God Bless"